Monday, March 4, 2019

Houston, We Might Have A Problem

Launching a space craft is difficult.  I woke Sunday morning to the news that SpaceX had successfully launched the first human rated capsule into orbit.  It was a mighty fete for SpaceX.  It only took them 17 years.

It caused me to think about a mission that launched on January 16th, 2003, the mission of STS-107 on the Space Shuttle Columbia.  At launch the team at Johnson Space Center noticed a piece of foam insulation fell off of the solid fuel booster rockets and hit the shuttle on the forward part of the left wing, potentially damaging one of the heat shield tiles. 

The crew on the ground studied photos of the launch, trying to decide if a risky, unplanned space walk to inspect the damage was necessary.  Without getting into the specifics of the controversy around the decision making mistakes uncovered in the aftermath, suffice it to say the spacewalk and inspection didn't occur and the Space Shuttle Columbia, tragically and some say unnecessarily, disintegrated on re-entry.

Launching a child is also difficult.  Unfastening where we end and they begin becomes less theoretical and much more clear as they choose colleges, solidify their sense of self and find their people outside the house.  For some the difficulty centers around letting the child go: discover who they are beyond us, find their people beyond ours and become fully separate beings, creating an independent future.

For parents of a disabled child, the difficulty centers around quite the opposite: how do I help my child discover who they are?  How do I help them find their own people?  How do I help them become fully separate beings, creating their independent future?

Or, can they launch?  Like mission control at NASA, we wonder if we should we abort this current mission as it looks like it might be headed for disaster.  We managed to check the O rings for wear, but at launch off to college a piece of foam hit the heat shield.  Do we continue the mission or launch a rescue mission back to campus to bring the crew down safely?

So my wife, my partner of nearly 30 years...we sit, we debate, we argue and we worry.  Will we make better decisions than they made in 2003?

Like Adam

As I find my voice, I do not aim to be loud as I once did in my youth.  Loud means powerful to the immature.  Loud draws attention for the boy.  The attention that the father never gave.  "I would rather be hated than ignored."

I want to be heard.  But first I must believe I have something to say.  Because as I have become less loud with age, it has not been because I have matured or become wiser.  It has been because I woke one day and found myself unclothed in the middle of the street--as if in a dream.  And the last thing that the naked man should do in public is raise his voice lest he draw attention to himself.

No, he should be as quiet as possible as he seeks somewhere to hide his nakedness.  Like Adam.